A monologue of my first year in office by Barrack Obama

Financial Crisis!?!? It’s not my fault. It’s never my fault! I have such good intentions…. And logically good intentions always produce good results right??? Since it obviously can’t be my fault it’s their fault. Who’s to blame? Those greedy fat cat bankers; blame them!!! In the mean time my fault-free administration is going to save America with bailouts:

"We also took steps to prevent the rapid dissolution of the American auto industry, which faced a crisis partly of its own making, to prevent the loss of hundreds of thousands of jobs during an already fragile time,"

-President Obama

"This recovery plan will save or create more than three million new jobs over the next few years,"

–President Obama

"We're moving in the right direction. We're starting to make real progress on the road to recovery. Quite simply, the Recovery Act is performing as advertised."

-Joe Biden

Look at me everyone I just saved the world!!!! (p.s. Thanks for the Nobel Peace Prize… I deserved every vote; I’m also glad you agree with me that sending 100,000 troops to Afghanistan is for peace purposes) Ohh wait, we’re going to lose money on the bailout and the American people don’t support it??? Well one thing is for sure, I DID NOT support the bailouts… Actually no one like the bailouts, yeah, we didn’t like it at all:

“And if there's one thing that has unified Democrats and Republicans, it's that we all hated the bank bailout. I hated it. You hated it. It was about as popular as a root canal.”

-President Obama

You see it was all Tim Geithner and Ben Bernake’s idea sooooo you really can’t blame me. In a completely unrelated matter I do support both their reconfirmation. They’re good men, good intentions which ALWAYS equals good results. If the bailout does get repaid you can send me a thank you card addressed to: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington, DC 20500. But remember if the bailouts don’t get paid it was Tim Geithner’s plan all along and it’s not my fault.

"Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own."

-Chales de Gaulle

"For years governments have been promising more than they can deliver, and delivering more than they can afford."

-Paul Martin

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."

-Abraham Lincoln

"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."

-John F. Kennedy